Wedding Buffet Queue Enters Second Hour; Guests Form Provisional Government

SURAT: With the queue for the live counter at a Surat wedding entering its second hour, guests have set up a working administration to keep order until the paneer arrives.

A retired bank manager has been appointed head of the line “on the basis of seniority and elbow strength”. A committee of aunties now controls access to plates.

“We did not want power,” said the new head, holding a serving spoon like a sceptre. “But somebody has to decide whether people who ‘just came to say hello’ are allowed to join in the middle.”

Early laws include:

• No saving places for more than three cousins.
• Children may be sent ahead, but only as scouts.
• Anyone who takes the last jalebi must look ashamed.

The bride and groom were last seen on stage, smiling for photographs, unaware that a small nation had formed near the salad.