Dhandho Satire
Local Uncle Completes 14th Straight Year of Predicting Market Crash “Any Day Now”
Family confirms he has been correct zero times and confident every time.
RAJKOT: Celebrations broke out in a Rajkot drawing room this week as Bakulkaka, 61, marked fourteen unbroken years of warning his relatives that the stock market will crash “any day now, just watch”.
Sources say the forecast is delivered daily at 9:14 a.m., one minute before the market opens, and again at dinner in case anyone missed it.
“He told me to sell everything in 2012,” said his nephew, who did not sell everything in 2012. “He also told me to buy a plot next to a highway that does not exist yet. The highway, I mean. The plot is very real and I am still paying for it.”
Asked about his record, Bakulkaka stayed calm. “Being early is not the same as being wrong,” he said, refreshing a share-price app he insists he never checks.
The market can stay irrational longer than my family can stay in the room.
At press time he had moved on to explaining gold.
This story is satire. It did not happen, nobody said these things, and no dhokla was harmed. About The Gujrat Taste