Man Who Has Coached India From His Sofa Since 1996 Announces No Plans to Retire

SURAT: A sixty-four-year-old man who has guided the national cricket team from a three-seater sofa since 1996 confirmed on Sunday that he has no plans to step down.

Over nearly three decades he has made every bowling change one over before the captain, and has been ignored each time.

“I told them to take the single,” he said during a tense chase, addressing a television that could not hear him. “Nobody listens. Not the batsman, not the umpire, not my son who is holding the remote.”

His methods are simple. Nobody may change seats while a partnership is building. Nobody may say the words “they have got this”. Chai is served only between overs.

Family members say the role has taken a toll. “He has retired from his job,” said his wife. “From this, never.”